Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Home Stallone

Sunday afternoon I was fortunate enough to pry the Bul Bubak from the arms of his ever-loving wife and from his stated desire to attend the Home Show at the PA Convention center in order to take a field trip to Southeast Asia. Not in the literal sense, mind you. We were going as guests of the great John Rambo.

Bubak and myself were expecting there to be much killing, but we were slightly taken aback by the Burmese tactic of throwing land mines into rice paddies and then making innocent villagers run back and forth across them until one stepped on a mine and was subsequently blown into into hundreds of large and small pieces that seemed to fly towards the viewer in a bloody panoply that wouldn't have been out of place in Doom 3. Not that we were disappointed.

In any case, the flying body parts were just the beginning of the murder and mayhem. According to the LA Times, there are a total of 236 people killed throughout the course of the film, an average of 2.59 per minute. Though as you can see, the number which Rambo kills with his shirt off is disappointingly low.

To sum up, this excellent film gets two thumbs up from the Dalembert Report. But don't take our word for it...your better off asking Sexman.