Thursday, June 26, 2008

Stefansky's First Stand

So many profiles gone undone. So many trade scenarios ignored. The Draft now awaits and I'm more confused, conflicted, and distracted by upside than ever before. Damn you upside!! My head is crammed with excess information, some legit and tons bogus, and this is my last chance to purge myself of it all, so let's try and recap today's draft before I combust with excitement and fear.

Other Players Philly Might Take:

I had hoped to do quick profiles for a lot of these guys, but as time became an issue and the draft boards fluctuated, it turned into an impossible dream. Here then, are players potentially on Stefansky's radar, and a few words about each.

Darrell Arthur- Heard somebody pronounce his first name Da-rel and that instantly brought to mind Pat Burrell, who's last name is spelled Burrell but is pronounced Burl. If indeed his name is Da-rel we should probably draft him, overpay him immediately, then wait six years for him to finally become good. On the court he was a valuable player on a championship team, which should count for something.

Kosta Koufos- Fits Philly perfectly in that he can walk around the city and everybody could yell out "Hey Cuz" at him. Cuz Koufos. That alone makes him worth considering. As far as his game, he's a seven-footer with a nice jump shot and good skills. He's intriguing but really, when was the last time a big white oaf with a silly name did anything but suck?

Anthony Randolph- A lottery guy only a few weeks ago, his workouts have scared some teams off because of lack of strength and yellowtail roll rawness. The ultimate upside guy who just isn't ready to make an impact yet; still, if he's on the board at sixteen it might be hard to pass on him. John Hollinger, ESPN's basketball Bill James, predicts that Randolph will be horrendous.

Alexis Ajinca-
Big and French. Frederic Weiss was big and French. How did that work out? If Andrea Barngnani has shown us anything, it's that drafting men with women's names is risky(apologies to Tracy McGrady). This fool has two huge strikes against him and I haven't even mentioned last years 5.0 ppg average in whatever Euro league he played in. If my math is correct, that is three strikes. He's out.

JJ Hickson- I like him, he sounds pretty strong and rugged. Doesn't have the height to be an ideal power forward in the NBA but is only nineteen and likely still growing. I don't think the Sixers will take him but he'll be available and a good pick for anyone in the latter half on the first round.

Roy Hibbert-
I've already ragged on this guy in earlier posts and I still feel good about what I said. Aside from being a lumbering sloth in college, the most troublesome part of his game was how he disappeared in games, which is cool if you are an Angel in The Outfield but not cool if you're seven foot two and should be dominating. To be fair, he has only recently learned the game, does have good skills, and will probably be a solid inside presence in the league. Epitomizes the higher floor player.

Jason Thompson- Less heralded college player who played at Rider, which would explain his less-heralded status. Never seen him but he sounds exactly like a bunch of these guys: great size, nice skills, and hard to predict.

Brandon Rush-
Really good college player who would be a much stronger candidate for the Sixers if he wasn't a combo guard, something they have in excess. Often times solid players with good college resumes and a proven record of winning and producing for elite programs can get overlooked for guys with less experience and more upside.

Courtney Lee- same as above, Lee was a really good college player who will go lower than most of the bigs in the draft but will end up being better than a lot of them. The Sixers could use a tough two guard who can score and also defend, but he's probably a lower first round or second round pick.

Ceilings And Floors:

1) DeAndre Jordan
Ceiling: Mars
Floor: The Earth's core
Boom or Bust: Bust

2)JaVale McGee
Ceiling: Oceans Eleven
Floor: Oceans Twelve
Boom or Bust: Bust

3)Marreese Speights
Ceiling: Sistine Chapel
Floor: Roberto Benigni's Oscar Speech
Boom or Bust: Boom!!

Donte Greene:
Ceiling: Season Four of The Wire
Floor: The Baltimore Orioles
Boom or Bust: Bust

Robin Lopez:
Ceiling: New York subway car
Floor: Subway platform
Boom or Bust: Not capable of either

Anthony Randolph
Ceiling: IMAX
Floor: Bootleg DVD
Boom or Bust: Boom!!

Darrell Arthur
Ceiling: Pat Burrell
Floor: Pat's Steaks(i think they're terrible)
Boom or Bust: Boom!!

JJ Hickson
Ceiling: Jimmie "JJ" Walker
Floor: JJ Redick
Boom or Bust: Boom!!

Kosta Koufos
Ceiling: Rik Smits
Floor: Efthemios Rentzias
Boom or Bust: Bust

Roy Hibbert
Ceiling: Finding a dollar
Floor: Losing a dollar
Boom or Bust: not eligible for either

Brandon Rush
Ceiling: Richard Hamilton
Floor: Jaron Rush
Boom or Bust: more boom than bust

Courtney Lee
Ceiling: The General Lee car
Floor: Courtney Love
Boom or Bust: Boom

What Does It All Mean?
Basically nothing. It means in five years, when DeAndre Jordan is breaking backboards and starting in All-Star games, I will feel stupid. I find it important to take this chance to remind everyone I know nothing about anything.

What I would Do If I was GM of the Sixers:
Assuming I watched all the tape in the world, worked out as many of these guys as possible, and conferred with all my talent scouts, I would take whichever one of the players I thought would be best. Duh. But I would take ANY player I thought was best, not just a big man. Because there are so many big man prospects I would also try my best to trade for another pick in the first round or early second round. It's conceivable that a bunch of these guys will slip and could be had in the 25-35 range. Also, if DJ Augustin falls to sixteen(which seems unlikely but possible since Indiana traded for TJ Ford), or if Danilo Gallnari somehow falls, take them. Take the best PLAYER, always.

Ideal Situation:
Procuring another pick and drafting two players with good potential. I really like a lot of the names in the draft and would be happy with Speights, Arthur, Hickson, Jordan, or Randolph, especially if we were able to get two of them or one with another guy, like Donte Green or Courtney Lee.

And the rest of the league?

I don't really care, but it's not as fun without Isaiah in New York.

Last Words:
I am going to trust Ed Stefansky tonight, trust him with my team and my draft. I think we all should. I'm a fan who likes to trust a GM until his first mistake, at which point I never trust him again. I trust you Ed, now go make us proud.

PS- I ignored Kevin Love and Joe Alexander because they are both Top Ten picks. Good luck Vanilla Sky and K-Love. Make white folks proud.


  1. Nak - your abandonment of the numbering system after 3 was a bold move. I like that.

  2. i dont care who we get as i am confident that chief naka will come up with an incredible nickname for them no matter what. i will say however that im disappointed we dont have a low second round pick to draft on a euro who can dunk over cars.

  3. Incredible analysis. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

    The footage of Vince dunking over Frenchy is always good. "Yeah! Scissor me timbers!"

    I love Roberto Begnini.

    Whether we get a superstar (not likely), a productive workhorse (more likely), or a bum (most likely), I feel better prepared and more well-informed by Sir Chief Naka.

    Let the madness begin...Let it begin.

    PS. For those of you who give a shit about tennis, Wimbledon is happening, and Novak went out like a little biatch to Safin.

  4. You would love Roberto Begnini.

    No one cares about pro tennis here, now go play with Kenny the Down Syndrom tiger, you two have a lot in common.

  5. I love Kenny, the downs syndrome tiger. Flintskins has designated him the new GFS mascot. Good idea? Great idea. I love the idea.

    I am currently watching the Phillies game in which they were hitless against the A's until a few moments ago when Shane Victorino put one into right. During the commercial break, Jimmy Rollins made one of his bold statements: John Kennedy is the dealership for real value. Shades of Jeff Garcia; "At Gary Barbera, all we do is discount Dodges."

    Also, ESPN hosted a version of my own personal hell today: Stephen A. Smith interviewing Chad Johnson. I couldn't bear to watch.