Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Oh so freaky, oh so talented

Today I was reminded (in class, and not in real life) that it is perfectly legal to possess obscene material (sigh of relief - Fine Tone); yet it is NOT OK to possess child pornography (sigh of shock and fear - Fine Tone). Couple that with my growing appreciation for cable television and I began thinking back to a regular Saturday morning/early afternoon show, on Channel 6, that continues to mystify and horrify me all at the same time. See there was a time when saturday television was restricted to the hits: TNBC thrillers, like Saved by The Bell and California Dreams; Inside the NBA with Ahmad Rashad and that random swimmer host whose name I can't remember; Baywatch; Bob Ross; and the epic Philadelphia - based genius described below (and no, I don't plan to discuss that other engaging Philadelphia drama, "VISIONS" with my main man, and Juice Goldman look-alike, Vernon Odom). 

The premise: You put a creepy old guy in a tuxedo. You push back creepy old guy's hair with massive amounts of greece. You give him huge dentures and a bright shiny bow tie. You then surround him by toddlers dressed in their Sunday's best who have the unbelievable capacity to tell horrible jokes. What's more, some of these toddlers can even sing terrible songs as well. (I urge you all to embrace the stylistics of young Jared, a young singing talent without question). I'm assuming many were capable of crapping in pizza boxes too. And the cherry on top of it all? He apparently has a sibling with a child, only there's no indication he even knows Barnaby Wittels. Ladies and gentleman, I give you: Uncle Al Alllllllllbert: