Thursday, June 19, 2008

The Love Below

I had so many ideas about this profile of Kevin Love. When you're served up a husky Honky with throwback skills and a nasty demeanor, packaged perfectly with a chin-strap beard and a name like Kevin Love, ideas should not be the problem. The real problem is that I can't seem to find a way of even pretending he will last past the tenth pick at the latest. There's no way the Sixers can draft him without trading up, and I'm just not ready to touch on trade possibilities yet.

Maybe my fascination with K-Love is based on weird racial naivete; maybe his skills and wide frame will translate into nothing more than a mediocre professional career. It is possible I'm simply blinded by the light of his name. Whatever the case, I'm convinced he would be a great fit and a great player in Philly, and since I don't see it happening I will save us all the time and simply move on. Two paragraphs later.

Moving on, let's check out another big guy with a tremendous name who's not a lottery lock: The Ace of Speights, Marreese Speights.

Why I Want Him:
Marreese Speights makes sense with this pick for several reasons. His first name, aside from being a bastardized second cousin to Maurice, as in Maurice Cheeks, is also a succinct meshing of Merrill Reese, the legendary Eagles announcer. Tailgate for a few hours in January, drink your body weight in cheap beer, start saying Merrill Reese as often as possible and presto! A newer, greater name appears.

Why I Fear Him:
A theme has arisen in this, and frankly every draft: the talent is there, but is the heart? Marreese has all the tools to be a great player in the league: he's athletic, with soft hands, quick feet, a nice touch, and good size. But is his heart filled with jelly or cold hard steel? We all support love and peace in the world, at least I think we do, but when it comes to athletes in this city we need guys who would
sooner destroy a children's hospital than visit it if it interfered with his pursuit of victory.

So it's simple:
if Marreese keeps his weight down and his elbows up, he will be a welcome addition to the Sixers. If not he will get drafted and be the first or second big man off the bench for his career, playing twenty minutes a night in between disgusting heroics at the buffet.

Final Verdict: My enthusiasm for this guy is actually very high. Word on him is that he's in great shape and playing serious ball in the pre-draft camps. He's what Philly needs, a power forward who hopefully, eventually, can score and rebound and add some toughness inside. He might be gone by sixteen but it's very possible he'll still be there. So, come draft night, listen carefully when it's the Sixers turn, and you might think, just for a second, that they drafted an old white man with the golden voice of a football spazz.


  1. I can only pass judgment once Chief Naka provides a "skin" review of Speights. It's the most telling statistic.

  2. I couldn't agree more. My position involving whites has been well documented this far. Free Mumia.

  3. Is Kevin Love related to Chris/Scott Love, or is he just the alter-ego of tha bul bubak?

    Mareese is the new Anfernee.

    Flintskins would be a Mumidiot, except for the fact that he knows or cares nothing about anything political; i.e., anything other than video games, pornography(gay), rap, beer or food (although I guess the argument could be made that some of these things have a political element). The point is is that Finnigan's Wake is an apathetic, Saux loving, self-hating waterboy who sucks on potatoes.

  4. First of all shitting on someone because they dont care about politics is fucking dumb. Who cares what someoe else cares about? secondly K Love's uncle is a a member of the Beachboys. Thirdly, Vote Romney '08

  5. That's not fair. I also care about whiskey, luxury cars and 18 year old girls (only ones that, respectfully, are not related to any editors of the DR).

    I will say, Dan, that any aspirations of political involvement I may have had were shattered the election day I saw a lumbering fool walking up Stenton avenue with his whole body plastered (not in the good way) with Kerry (or Gore, or one of those Whites) lawn signs. I thought to myself, 'wow, look at this moron, maybe retards shouldn't be let out of the house unsupervised regardless of their age, because if anyone was still on the fence as to who to vote for in this election, that sight sure as shit would have sent them running for the republicans'. I got closer, only to realize it was - in fact - you, and in the following moment while hanging my head in pure shame I realized that it was just easier not to care at all.

    But hey, if my ni99a Barry takes over, I might care again, especially if he can spit a hot verse while smoking an el in the Black House's HOval Office. Son.

  6. Potato Skins...I got news for ya: Obamer is a white. Raised by a white on Hawaii, hes white. Very least Bi racial, but he aint black.

  7. Seriously, anonymous, don't talk shit on Obamer.

    Flint (aka Spud Web), you should qualify that you are only interested in 18 year old girls if they look 15. And it wasn't Stenton, it was Lincoln drive, and it wasn't for any political candidate. It was to keep the war from happening, which apparently, my efforts worked out pretty well.

  8. No, it was Stenton, and it was a candidate. You don't forget something like that.

    18 is 18. That's all I have to say on the matter.

  9. I will tell you what's amazing: Chief Naka gets us started with a discussion of Kevin Love and we end up learning about DVW on Stenton avenue supporting Ralph Nader. Only on the DR.

  10. If that's not an indication that no one like white ballers, I don't know what is. Also, to go back to one of Dan's earlier comments, this K-Love dude is taller than both Chris and Scott Love put together.

  11. I love white ballers, as well as black ones, biracial, Chinese ones (only those that don't fuck over Tibet), Mexikings like Eduardo Najara, and all the rest.

    Fabrice, you are mistaken about Stenton Ave. I am 100 percent certain of this. The only places you may have seen me as a human billboard are Lincoln Drive and Wissahickon and Germantown Ave. If you saw someone on Stenton, it wasn't me, but it could have been the actor who plays hellboy, some carrier from "The Hills" who apparently, people say looks like me, or some other big, white oaf. This just goes to show that you think all white people look alike.

    Bubak and Chick-Lo, claim your comments.

    I love the DR.