Wednesday, June 20, 2007

NBA Draft 2007: What's The Scenario?

With all the mock drafts floating around the cyberworld, cluttering our minds with heaping helpings of fact-free analysis and useless terminology designed to disguise the poor prospects and overindulge the good ones, you must ask, do I really need to read another? What can the Dalembert Report provide that others simply will not?

It's simple: first of all, turning away from any mock draft is impossible. Do you close your eyes in the movie theater when the previews come on? Would you ever spend all night at the bar drinking beer, smoke a huge blunt in a friends car while listening to Biggie, stop at a Wawa, and not go inside to instigate an epic grub? Could you get off a plane, see the Brazilian womens soccer team in bikinis all holding placards, one of which has your name on it, and walk on by? Yes, no, and no, only because movies suck these days and previews are too long and usually boring. Whatever, sorry. Mock drafts are fantastic, they're easy to read, easy to understand, and it's nearly impossible to be held accountable for one.

Second, here at the DR we make no bones about basing our opinions less on factual reality than on flagrant Philly pride and longing, to go with a healthy dose of gut instinct and blind hatred. I don't pretend to know which scouts like which foreign guy more, nor do I care. In my experience as a fan and prognosticator of talent I've found that judging young talent solely on ethnicity, government name, choice of shoes and tattoos(or lack thereof), and March Madness showing(or lack thereof) tends to do the job, and quite well mind you. I knew Mike Dunleavy Jr. would suck in the NBA. Why? Because he's white! From Duke! Bad name and the #3 overall pick. I also had a good feeling about Kyle Korver. Why? Because he's white! From Creighton! Great name and a mid-2nd round pick. It's the subtle differences of interpretation that we pride ourselves on.

With that explained, here is the first installment of our 2007 NBA Draft Scenario section. We deal most directly with the Sixers picks, but please, read on no matter what team you root for. Somehow we will make this meaningful for fans of each team in the league.

Scenenario #1: The Trade Up

Clearly the first two picks are pretty much set. If Oden and Durant don't go 1st and 2nd, well shit, this draft will be even more fun than The Vikings Sex Boat. The draft really starts with Atlanta at #3, which is like saying the Macy's Day Parade will start as soon as The Hoff and Patrick Swayze sing a duet of Wind Beneath My Wings. You couldn't give the keys to a more drunk and blind driver and ask them to lead you home. From a Sixers fan perspective I want to see them(The Hawks that is) pick somebody with tons of unseen potential and no good grasp of the English language. That hope will actually hold true for all of the teams picking in front of Philly. The best case scenario(within scenario #1), as I see it, is for Corey Brewer, Jeff Green, Yoakim Noah, or Al Horford to slip into the 7-10 range where we could possibly trade our pick and Willie Green, move up, and grab 'em. Willie Green you say? I know it's a stretch, but listen people, the GM's involved in this draft are responsible for hundreds, if not thousands of ludicrous basketball decisions over the past twenty years, most of which have led to this very draft.

I expect Horford and Brewer to be quickly snatched and totally unavailable by the 6th pick at the latest. Both Green and Noah seem sure to go by #10. Can the Sixers pull if off? Will they give up two or even all three of their first round picks for the chance to move up a few spots for the guy they want? I must be fair in discussing Billy King. Overall I think he's done about as good a job as the Principle at Eastside High prior to Joe Clarke. But I'll say this: the man makes moves. He likes trading players, picks, and in general using as many cellphones and blackberries as possible. I expect him to make something happen, and again in fairness, his draft record is not bad. The Trade-Up can happen if he targets a guy and feels the need to go get him. I fully support trading up to get one of the aforementioned studs but will be angry and confused if we get a White or Chinese guy in the Top 10. With four picks out of the first thirty-eight, look for The Sixers to be aggressive. I'll be there. But not before writing Scenario #2, coming later this week.

1 comment: