Thursday, September 10, 2009

"Werth" the Stupid "Puns"

Back when I was living in a Ford Explorer at various points south of the border, Campbell and I made up a little jingle in homage to our morning beverage of choice. It went a little something like this:
"Yo no soy maricon
Pero yo amo Ron"
For those of you not conversant in Spanish, that translates to:
I'm not a faggot
But I love Ron
BUT while the name "Ron" to most of you may conjure up images of this, in Spanish "Ron" means this. See what I did there? I'm not "gay", but I love someone named "Ron" - in this case a bottle of "alcohol." I know, I know - hold your applause.

I tell this story in order to establish my heterosexual bonafides so that when I say that I love Jayson Werth you understand that I mean "I admire Jayson Werth in an entirely platonic fashion and have no desire to engage in hot steamy man-love with him." Because that would be an exaggeration.

Lately J Werth has been hitting monstrous home runs as far as the eye can see, home runs so titanic that they've led meteor sightings and blimp accidents. Now, I don't know if Sergeant Elias is one the juice or if he's just on a hot streak, and to be frank I don't much care. I do know that his hitting of late is the only thing that's kept me out of the Jed Foundation.

Which is all just a roundabout way to bring up a feature from back in the salad days of the the DR (you know, when we used to post more that twice a month). It was called "Photo of the Day" and it was totally awesome, except that no one but me liked it so I bowed to public opinion and consigned it to a quick and painless death not unlike Flintskins' grandfather when he was at Auschwitz. But, for one day only, in honor of J Werth, I present you with a Photo of the Day redux:


  1. Whoah, J Werth, Nerd Alert!

    He looks like Vid did when he was 12 and playing for Gov on the Pirates.

    EDG, wanna space-dock?... Nah, lets Monroe Transfer instead.

  2. And for the record, I for one, enjoyed the photo of the day. At least it encouraged more posts.

  3. Yes, you all knew it was coming; "I think there are some more rooms Matt Stairs." But... After an incredible come back, the Phils came up short. Hauwurd's a bum. Trade 'im. The Marlins are only 5 games back now.

    On a lighter note, Urban Dictionary has totally different meanings for one of our ol' stand-bys, but they are all enjoyable as well:

    I have also recently come to realize that I need to watch more Spanish tele-vis-zi-own:

    It's time for Flintskins to take a break from watching "Seven Years in Thai Butt," "Eat-A-Pus Rex," and "How Stella Got Her Poop Packed," and start writing. Dat goes for deh rest ah yous too, butty.

  4. Our much Belov-ed Monty G strikes again. This time, on behalf of the Birds:

    I am in heaven. I luh this man.

  5. I would have to say that my comments that went out, unread, into the ether during the DR "off-season" were not Werth-while. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

  6. Serena Williams wants to kill a tiny Asian line judge.

  7. Somebody better tell Raleigh Towel that the DR is back. My comments are like a tree falling in the woods.

  8. Pardon the quality, but in honor of Swayze:

  9. Werth 4 runs. "Grand Slam, Jason Werth!"