Thursday, March 18, 2010

Getting His Unemployment On

The Shawn Andrews Era has finally ended and what is there to say? The dude shoulda coulda woulda. In the end I feel justified for my initial feeling when we drafted him: "Wait, we drafted a dude who had to lose 50 pounds to get down to 350?!?!" It seemed like a bad idea then, and it turned out that certain large men have delicate psyche's and bad backs. In general I think it's bad business taking on talent that weighs over 400 lbs, unless it's a talented actor, dancer, or both. So goodbye Big Kid, and good luck, and may you're convergence of twitter and god bring you a life of happiness.


  1. Yeah, too fat. Too Brittle. He must have been drinking too much MALK.

    He woulda been good if he could ever stay on the field.

    Verdict: Bum.

  2. "You're fired. You're fired. The people say you're fired."

  3. In the spirit of spring training, I want to take this opportunity to recognize the lesser-known bo-bo players, if you will, especially since we may never see them again.

    They are:

    Drew "Big Firm" Carpenter
    Sergio "Look at the S Car go" Escalona
    "Yo, Cuz" Yohan "Hideliho" Flande
    "Great" Scott Mathieson
    Drew "Pound my shit" Naylor
    J.C. "Why can't I be Romero?" Ramirez
    "De" Jesus "Dirty" Sanchez
    Mike "The Polack" Zagurski
    "The Life of" Brian "Suck My" Bocock
    Quintin "is in! Let the fun begin!" "Dingle" Berry
    Ross "The Choad" Gload
    John "The Giant Fairy" Mayberry

    Good luck to all on the fence.

    Go Phils.

  4. Somehow I forgot about:

    Cody "Give me back my son!" Ransom
    Blow Job Jewenberg
    Joe "Sweet &" Savery
    "Ryan" Phillippe Aumont"bonne"
    Ryan "Swan" Vogelsong
    Boners Eh!-ren Wassermann
    Bill White "Duke"
    Tuffy Gosewisch Gossitch
    Paul "Suck it up" Hoover
    Kevin "Hah hah!" Nelson
    Dane "Can o'" Sardinha
    John "The Sumo" Suomi
    Ozzie "Hugo" Chavez
    Freddy "Useless Piece of Crap" Galvis
    "Candy" Andy "Shit in McMichael Park" "Dick" Tracy
    "Wilsohhhhhhnnnnn!" "Exxon" Valdez
    "Demonic" Domonic Brown "Doodie"
    Chris "Muffy" Duffy
    Tyson "The Chicken whose name rhymes with Phillies" Gillies
    Dewayne "When it comes to spelling names, my mom wasn't so" Wise

  5. Lestakboutthadalmberrepor...Hew-won? Iohneeno.

  6. Finger pointed at face + humorless expression = my reaction to the above.

  7. If that is the case, then probability is high that you are gay.

  8. Yes. I agree. Flintskins is gay.

  9. I am recommending relegation of Flintskins and tha bul bubak to The Dalembert Report Minors in Reading for infrequent posting. I would say the same for Stand Watie except that he is studying to be a Jew lawyer, and "totally redeems himself!" every year at Dalembert Awards time.

  10. I will. Write something.

  11. After my dismal performance in the Chief Naka NCAA basketball bracket challenge, I am now turning my attention to the coming opening day of the Phightin Phils 2010 season. And though Brad Lidge may blow more saves than Christy Canyon blows wangs, and Ryan Howard will post more strike-outs than John Gregory Williams has gums, it is going to be a hell of a season.

  12. You mean the Chief Naka bracket challenge that he NEVER INVITES ME TO PARTICIPATE IN? That one?

  13. Indeed. That's the one.

    He must know how difficult it would be to track you down for ten dollars.

  14. Shawn Andrews looks like he's firing off a missile in that photo.

    He spells his name like Puffs.

  15. Sheldon Brown, Chris Gocong, and now McNabb, all bite the dust.

  16. Lestawkbouthadalmbearepor.

    Big changes with the birds, Halladay and every Phil getting at least one hit in the season opener, winning the opening game for the first time in 5 years.... No posts.

  17. I can't wait for the day when there is a new post, and I don't have to look at Puffs Andrew's turd squeezing face anymore,

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