Wednesday, March 25, 2009

On a Roll Like a Deli Sandwich

It's been a long cold winter for the DR, but we're finally showing signs of life. Buoyed by Sammy D's inspiring work on the just-concluded western road-trip and by a weekend trip to the land of grouper, we've finally started the slow process of emerging from our respective cocoons. And so it came to pass that, as I contemplated how best to break my month-long post-less streak, a little birdy named Michael Klein came along and whispered through the internet a tidbit of glorious news:
"Phillies shortstop Jimmy Rollins says he and longtime girlfriend Johari Smith are "checking out some islands" and plan to be married in January."

J Roll and our own favorite high school classmate aren't content with just getting married though. According the Bill Gates:
"Jimmy Rollins...and girlfriend Johari Smith will appear in a Playboy fashion feature, most likely in the June issue and on video on Playboy's Web site."
Now, there are many things to take issue with here. First: since when are there videos of men in Playboy!? Second: does it make me gay that i want to purchase the Playboy in which Jimmy Rollins is posing? Third: will Abby Klein be invited? Fourth: will she have a plus-one? Fifth: what are the chances that the island they decide on is Haiti?

I could go on and on, but I think instead i'll stop here and simply wish the bestest of luck to the young couple. I can't wait until their kids are catching wreck in the Smith Gym.


  1. my favorite part of that picture is you can see the spilled beer soaking the grass.

    DVDubs and Flint should be charter members of the Jar Queen's Chestnut Hill fitness club, along with Mama Firm who I'm sure is already signed up.

  2. You know, one year ago, I was actively making fun of these two idiots in the exact place Stand Whitie was so proudly wearing those lobster shorts.

    I feel like we have really come full circle.

    I'm pretty sure my mom thinks she will be invited to the wedding. I mean she is, after all, in a book group with johari's mom's friend's third cousin.

  3. "Yo, he ate everything but the roll, cuz."

    Just look at that manly jew sweater-chest.

    Johari looks pretty amazing. I guess J-roll is intent on huffing lucky jarred goozes for the rest of his life.