Friday, March 27, 2009

Friday's Hangover Inducing Video Dump

Happy weekend kids! While everyday is a Saturday for your humble narrator these days, I still appreciate the plight of the working man and know what it's like to want to unwind, relax and kick back a few after a long week of pushing the broom for the man. In that spirit, I took some time out of my very lazy day to compile some of yesterdays finest alcohol related propaganda. Being that I am gifted in the art of keeping it real, and am also living a life of leisure on a government paid income it seemed appropriate to focus upon the oft consumed but rarely publicly acclaimed beverage, malt liquor. So in closing, remember to drink responsibly (as in don't drink with me), don't drink and drive as you may spill your drink and never overpay for street walkers. Enjoy.

Budweiser Malt Liquor

First I ever heard of this was when I was doing my search for ads. I'm not upset I never had the pleasure of cracking one of these open, but I am a little bewildered that it seems malt liquor was once actually marketed to white people. I am more than slightly disturbed by this, as I suspect you will be as well.



Colt 45

The Billy Dee Williams Colt 45 ads are nothing short of legendary. While they were directed at the generation prior to mine, I find that the peers of mine who remember the ads do so quite fondly. There is a perfectly good reason for that: they are absolutely ridiculous. Listen, I do not intend to imply that Billy Dee is not one of the smoothest brothers to have ever walked this earth, that is indisputable, but trying to bring dignity and respect to malt liquor is tantamount to trying to get my cat to go out and get a job and support the family for once. It's not going to happen. That being said, the effort is more than respected, it is admired. Below are two fine examples of Billy Dee making it work every time.






Country Club


This ad is not good. At all. I only posted so you can all see why it is just wrong in every way.



King Cobra

Fred Williamson may not be the actual God, but he is A god, as proven here.



Schlitz

I'm not really sure what the fuck is going on here, but I do know there are so many things awesomely wrong about this ad. Key word awesome.



St. Ides

It is no secret that St. Ides put out the absolute BEST commercials in the 90's. Saying that the advertising caused me to illegally purchase and illegally drink the sweet crooked I nectar is slightly misleading as I was guzzling any bottle I could get my hands on at that age, but it certainly did create enough brand allegiance that given the choice I always wanted to visit the sweet tropics of the island of St. Ides. Below are some of the finest ads ever created, for malt liquor and beyond.

BIG


Wu-Tang
TV Version


Full Version


King Tee (note: with two aspiring DR lawyers to protect me, I too will have a St. Ides license plate one day)


Ice Cube & The Geto Boys

TV (bonus points for the bootleg style)


Full


Is it even legal for little people to drink?

Rakim (Yes, Rakim Allah supports malt liquor. Awesome.)


Snoop Dogg and Nate Dogg (Couldn't find the video version, which features Snoop's hair at its best)


Method Man & Redman (minus points for it being a Special Brew ad)

TV


Full




Bonus Hangover Remedy Ads

Nas & AZ - Sprite


Pete Rock & CL Smooth - Sprite


Biggie - Pepsi

9 comments:

  1. Where's the Grand Puba sprite commerical? "First things first, obey your thirst...sprite aight?"

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  2. I want an Ides so bad right now. And I have a weird inclination to sell them out of the trunk of my Ford Taurus (and now have them stolen by your friends, Fine Tone). Imagine, rappers hawking malt liquor. Who would've thunk it.

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  3. In all fairness, it was only 12 oz. bottles that were stolen. 40 theft would just be wrong.

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  4. wuold you guys be jealous if i told you i drank 2 colt 45s friday night?

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  5. No, I'd more think you were a pussy for stopping at 2.

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  6. i think germantown ave should be renamed same old malt liquor street.

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  7. I agree completely, at least the block between Rittenhouse and Chelten should be in honor of Mr. Lee.

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  8. Flintskins, great work. These are examples of pure advertising genius (GZA).

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=toB05tcaU8Y

    I seem to recall a commercial that went: "Paint the town red/ Paint the town red/ Red Bull Malt Liquor/ Paint the town red."

    I love St. Ides, mid-90's rap, Wutang, Bushwick, and I wish Biggie was still alive.

    Stand, my question for you is why would you ever drink Colt (despite Billy D's gift of persuasion) when you could have St. Ides?

    Go Nova, cuz.

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