Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Rodney Dangerfield Lives!

In the aftermath of one of the greatest Phillies wins ever witnessed which catapulted our version of the big red machine further into our second straight Red October, I went to my usual routine of hunting down what I was positive would be a horde of articles praising the Phillies, warning the Dodgers of their imminent hurt, and capitulating who the Phils would face in this years fall classic.

Needless to say it was a fools errand.

I really shouldn't have been surprised, after all I have endured my entire sports life in the city that praise forgot (which I concede was much deserved for the most part, especially if we want to talk about the mid to late 90's with the exception of a few Lindros led Flyers teams which ultimately and familiarly disappointed), but it was going to be different this time, right? We were the defending world f'ing champions, we defied the odds dictated by previous defending National League world champs and not only made it to the playoffs but dramatically dispensed of our first round rivals, so the sports media pundits were finally going to be ready to give us the nod, correct? If Chase Utley was asked that very question, he would be correct in answering "In-fucking-correct".

You can absolutely get your fill of praise, optimism and general good tidings by trolling the local beat writers, columnists and bloggers. You can extend the teasing by reading articles written by local guys on the big media outlets. You can even find yourself confused by an article rife with Dodger praise that somehow ultimately predicts the Phillies winning over at ESPN.

Unfortunately it seems to stop there.

To reiterate, the Phillies have won the NL East three years in a row, won the WORLD SERIES last year, and we are still the red uniformed stepchildren of the playoff teams. The Rodney Dangerfield of the postseason. This is not simply ingrained Philly-negativity rearing it's ugly, predictable head as there is no shortage of easily found examples of articles written over the past few days that prove this developing complex to be firmly rooted in reality, that I assure you. However, what finally set me off was the discovery of William Rhoden's article from this past Sunday's New York Times. The following quotes should appropriately define my rage:

"....what Major League Baseball needs is a great World Series, a Series for the ages. And with all due respect to those two other potential matchups, it’s a Yankees-Dodgers World Series that could take the game back to its roots at a time when baseball desperately needs to recover a portion of the trust, if not the innocence, that it has lost in the steroid era.....

If the Yankees were to face the Dodgers in the World Series, the season would end with two great players who had admitted culpability and moved on. It would represent a line of demarcation, that the game was ready to get past one of the most painful episodes in its history....

Baseball needs a World Series for the ages, one that reinforces its roots and, yes, its relative purity. Granted, this is a lot to ask one World Series matchup to accomplish, but baseball needs an authentic fall classic.

It needs Yankees-Dodgers, for the good of the game."

Sadly, thanks to J.C. Romero's follies last year at "GNC", I can't go on the unbridled, self-righteous attack that is aching to spill onto this page, but due to him not being on this years playoff roster, I can at least ask Mr. Rhoden WHAT IN THE NAME OF JESUS THE PIMP ARE YOU SMOKING?!??!?? The Yankees and Dodgers??!?? Manny Ramirez and Alex Rodriguez, thanks to personally increasing the Dominican Republic's Gross National Product by at least 300% with their steroid usage, are the FACES of today's steroid era. As for the admissions of culpability referenced by Rhoden, I was always raised to believe that vague finger-pointing was not actually an admission to ANYTHING. Let's recap, A-Rod claimed that his cousin stuck needles in his hind-parts, the contents of which he 'never knew'. Admission fail #1. Manny had some time to think about it, and actually landed on saying his doctor just prescribed him some pills and he assumed they were fine. Admission fail #2.

With that in mind, how exactly does the proposed Dodgers-Yankees matchup reinforce any manner of purity? If anything, having two of baseball's biggest stars who were both caught red-handed REINFORCES those disillusioned by the steroid-era. If we're discussing 'purity' the obvious answer is a Phillies-Angels series. Sure, that may not be the most interesting Fall Classic from a media or ratings perspective, but that couldn't have been what Rhoden really meant, right? Nor could it be that he has a great revisionist history and longs for the days of the Yankees and Dodgers being the kings of New York, because nobody over the age of 50 is still irrationally bitter about that at all. Therefore I'll assume this was a simple search and replace accident in MS Word and he actually meant an Angels-Philliesseries.

As usual, I digress.

The Phillies simply have not garnered the respect which has certainly been earned and sure as shit should be acknowledged, and I agree it's something to be upset about, but not for too long. As fans, we should take a cue from the players, who choose not to dwell on the egregious oversights of the national media and know that if they conduct business as usual, they will leave their detractors two options: silence or respect.

Nothing will do that better than rings on two fingers. These next few weeks are going to be awesome.

(NOTE: Apologies for not bringing the usual dick jokes and bad puns I tend to heavily rely upon, just needed to get a few things off my chest. Jester Flintskins will return shortly, I may even bring nudity next time)


  1. Incredible post. Well-written and on point.

    It was made quite clear by the Fox announcers last year that they wanted a Dodgers vs. Red Sox World Series. F those guys. Though I was initially grateful, and admittedly, still am, that the play by play is not being done by Buck and McCarver, in my view, the TBS announcers have not done much better by our beloved Phightins. I don't want national announcers to be on the side of the Phillies necessarily but I'd like them to at least put up a facade of impartiality. I may have been left oversensitive by last year's announcing debacle, but it seemed to me that the TBS announcers spent a majority of the broadcasts verbally blowing Rockies players, while occasionally and begrudgingly giving Phillies some credit for admirable play. Still, this was often with a negative, disparaging qualifier attached; for example, "Despite a terrible at bat by Werth, where he was fooled over and over again, he was able to punch one into the outfield." This is not an exact quote, but it's not far off. You get the gist. In addition, if a TBS announcer says Pedro Marti-ness one more time, I may have to smash my donated Magaziner TV. Again, I may be overreacting (slightly), but it is clear that the media is not on our side. It worked out well for us last year, so perhaps we should just embrace it.


    Go Phils.

  2. William Rhoden is a falcon and the Times sports section sucks. fuck a subway series - i'm waiting for the Bobby Abreu series. But let's not forget we have to get through the Vicente Padilla series first.

  3. They forgot about the Phils:


  4. This is how I feel about Jim Fregosi:


  5. this is definitely gonna win the DR pulitzer award

  6. They should send all these national media whores to Melmac

  7. This is what I'd like to do to William Rhoden:


  8. Very UHFy. Very weird Al-y.

  9. Shut up Flintskins, whoever you are.

  10. The balloon boy... Such a falcon: