Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Amores Perros

So, Michael Vick is basically the antichrist. First it was the weed on the airplane, then he started giving fans the finger, and now he's being targeted as the shadowy baller behind an international dog-fighting coalition of gangsters. Or something like that.

According to the SPCA though, Vick isn't the only NFL player who gets his kicks from doggie bloodpsort:

"We've been saying for a while there seems to be a subculture of dogfighting in the NFL, and this Vick thing seems to reinforce that," Goodwin said. "And the nonchalant attitude that Clinton Portis had in describing something that is a felony crime really drove the point home. The guy's attitude was unbelievable."

Which got me wondering...which Philly athlete would you be most likely to see at a dog fight? We all know that wherever there's a social event (i.e. a 40th Dimension cocktail party or the opening of a new Church's Chicken) that former Wisconsin Badger Cecil Martin would certainly be there, so he's a strong choice. Charlie Manuel's got the good 'ol boy pedigree, but somehow I picture him more into alligator wrestling or prison rodeo's. And what about new Eagles QB Kevin Kolb? Anyone who enjoys hunting pigs with razor sharp knives, and would almost certainly not bat an eye at the prospect of seeing a bunch of pit bulls rip each other's throats out over a barbecue pork chop.

There's plenty more candidates, so we'll leave it up to the DR readership to decide -let us know what you think.

You know who would almost definately be there though? This guy.


  1. Cecil Martin is a great man. I, along with my colleauge Daniel Geffen, have spent many a saturday at the Idependence Brew Pub sharing communal fries with Mr. Martin. the man shares and everyone and their moms knows that sharing is caring. He would never engage in such ludicris activities as dog fighting and I ask, ne demand, that you issue a retraction immediatley.

  2. Retraction granted. Upon further research, Cecil Martin is a kind and generous french fry aficianado, and he would probably never pit his shih-tzu in a battle royale with Lil Ze or any other resource-guarding large dog. 'Pon further review, I'm replaceing him as a candidate with Neil Hartman. That motherfucker definately got some bloodlust.

  3. Cecil Martin? That 'gro drives an Altima. People that drive Altimas - drug mules notwithstanding - simply do not associate themselves with such a heinous, brutal and visually stunning activity. In fact, once Ooogie Urbina defected to a South American jail, Philly's dog fighting scene crumbled into a shadow of it's former self. Kind of like the MOVE house. Last I heard Steve "In The" Mix and Pepe "Make It Clap" Sanchez were heavyweights in that shit.

    You know John Cheney has fought some fuckin dogs. And I don't mean he pit two against each other, I mean he's left some reeboks in some canine ass.

    Where the real money lies is in Merril "It's Goooooooood" Reese and Mike "Where the Fuck Am I" Quick's looming underground Crackhead Fighting league. There's a fellow prowling the Citizen's Bank Parking Lot that I have my money on...

  4. I could see hugh douglas at a dog fight, or that fucking cock sucker Billy King.