Thursday, May 7, 2009

Growing up Hood

When I used to play games at the Water Tower, perhaps the most significant off-court distraction was the inevitable decision between eating at the Italian Oven or The Depot post-game. And the concern over being molested by unnamed coaches,  but that's neither here nor there. Sometimes the Germantown Ave. Roy Rogers presented an interesting third alternative, but rarely did I need to take my focus off Matt Gordy, Matt Tuzman, or Matt Gillespie. 

Not so for Ron Artest. Whereas we played hoops within a stone's throw from Caffette, lil' Ron played hoops within a stone throw of a crazy table leg-yielding assassin who voiced his displeasure with any on-court antics by killing players via splinters and loose nails. Young black men in this country really do face insurmountable challenges. 

Ron, here's to you and your picture-perfect account of your youth. No one will ever doubt your credibility in a court of law, I assure you. Props to Big Ben out of Fairmount for bringing this gem to the DR's attention.




11 comments:

  1. No one told Ron that his friend was a vampire. What happened was no accident. Well played, Van Helsing, well played.

    ReplyDelete
  2. comment of the year competition is officially closed.

    ReplyDelete
  3. remember the noodle straws at the italian oven?! I tasted a white russian for the first time there...delish! thanks big firm, for stirring up old memories of chestnut hill eateries!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Kobe, tell me how my table leg tastes.

    ReplyDelete
  5. hello, laker fans. oh wait, wrong blog. never mind. anyway, i did see on the internet that ron's table-leg-stabbing story was verified via NYTimes. stabbed in the BACK!

    kobe 4eva

    ReplyDelete
  6. Firm,

    you only have true love for A. Chism.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'm more of a Jared Medley fan, throw in a little Ben Wyatt and/or Jared Pontz, actually.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I love Elliot Lee and Evan Leary, myself. Actually I love Freddy. I can't remember his last name but he was a force to be reckoned with.

    I just heard a phone interview with Roger Clemens on ESPN. What a stupid fucking liar.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hi, I'm Matt Tuzzman
    I like to smile.

    ReplyDelete