Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Back in the USSR


Hah hah! Just kidding Phillies fans! I am back in the tri-state area at last, and courtesy of my good friend Tragedy Quaddafi aka the Intelligent Hoodlum who lives in Queens, I was able to procure some fantastic reading about my least favorite baseball team - the Mets. You see, the Mets are full of Dominicans of the non-Abraham Nunez - those who are more adept with the bat than with the glove, and who oftentimes are seen crossing over the border to practice their particular brand of Pedro Martinez-inspired homosexuality on the poor oppressed people of rural Haiti.

Now, I have nothing against the Sodomites as rule. In fact, I am ace rollies with the well-known carrier John Amaechi, as we are both technically subjects of the Queen (Elizabeth, not Freddy Mercury, though I am a fan of his as well).

But these Mets, on the other hand, are the worst kind of pillow-biters. Which is why I was so thrilled to be reading about how badly they sucked it up (pun intended) at the end of the season. These headlines really are too fantastic not to share with you, my faithful readers. And so here they are:
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