Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Ron Mexico is Dead

Some amazing and baffling new revelations are coming to light in the wake of the federales indicting Michael Vick on dog fighting charges. For one, we now know that that menace to society, that one man crime wave, that scourge of the NFL and the Atlanta metro area goes by the terror-inspiring nickname “Ookie”.

That’s right. The NFL’s most dangerous QB is named after a game where teenage boys compete to see who can be the first to ejaculate onto a pastry.

Equally as perplexing is the name of Vick’s alleged operation: Bad Newz Kennels. I’m assuming that the ‘bad newz’ part is a double entendre, referring not only to the intimidating nature of the pit bulls housed therein but also to Vick’s hometown of Newport “Bad” News.

But why drop the second z after kennel? Why, if your going to replace one s with a z would you not continue with the theme throughout the whole title of your operation? Did Vick feel as though a second z would have been overkill? Is he so bad at spelling that he truly thinks the word “news” ends with a different letter than the word “kennels”? Maybe “badnewzkennelz@gmail” was already taken.

We may never know.

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