WWTBBD???

He would eat nachos, that's what he would do!

Dear Bul Bubak,
Recently I have been pondering some of life's greatest most important questions. Why are we here? Does God really exist? What exactly is in bologna? I have spent much time thinking and reflecting on these questions and have answered all except one. I will not bore you with these answers as I am in dire need of the answer to my one last question - What would do if you had access to a time travel device?
I need Help Bubak!!

Dear Anonymous,
Obviously my first choice would be to go to the future, buy a sports almanac, go back to the past giving said almanac to myself from the past thus making millions betting on sports!!! Alas some douchebag stole my idea when I was 8 ruining my shit. I can't just go and do that after everybody has seen it happen in a movie. No, for Bubak is a greater man than that, Bubak shall do a service for all of humanity!
I would go back to the summer of 1993 and unravel one of the all time great mysteries of the world? How in the hell could Whoomp There It Is and Whoot There It Is be popular after coming out only a month apart? For those of you who were living under a rock in '93 let me remind you that Whoomp was a Tag Team song and Whoot was performed by that powerhouse 95 South. (Coincidentally a road very near my house). First of all, neither of these songs are very good. That being said, whites love a bad song with an even somewhat catchy chorus that they can easily learn. Case in point: The year was 1993, the month October, October 20th to be exact. It was on this crisp autumn night that I first witnessed a sight that would be forever burned into my brain: a 47 year old Jew singing Whoomp There It Is at Veterans Stadium. I was 12 and at the first World Series series game of my life, the Phils lost 15-14, but I will always have that glowing memory of father Bubak getting his Whoomp on. For this reason, and the fact that it came out first, I am partial to Whoomp! Whoot has its pros as well, do not think that I am not an equal opportunity shitty song enthusiast. For one thing, Whoot only has 1 verse and the rest is just filler and chorus. Secondly, the word Whoot is used an astonishing 84 times in this short song. Thirdly, the copius use of the phrase(and I use phrase in the most general of terms)Ooh-e ooo e is amazing and insipiring. So how was it that these two songs came to be embraced by us stupid gringos? If you have $17.40 you can find out for yourself. I wish I had an answer, but until I get up to 88 miles an hour and get my flux capacitor back from the shop, the world may never know.